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Divorce and remarriage is unquestionably one of the most
controversial subjects in the Church today. Marriage is such an emotional
issue that reason and logic are often laid aside in favor of feelings and
intuition when it comes to studying this topic. Another problem is that the
waters are often clouded with seemingly endless side issues which distract
from the real argument. Is there any reason for which a man or woman may
scripturally divorce and remarry?
The Bible plainly teaches, from its first pages to its last, that there is NO
reason acceptable to God whereby a man or woman may divorce and remarry. But
people begin to ask, "What if they weren't Christians when the were
divorced?" "What if they have children now?" "What
if...," et cetera, ad nauseam.
It is one of these side issues which I wish to focus on here. Having already
stated that the Bible does indeed teach that marriage is for life, and that
there is no cause for which a person may scripturally divorce and remarry, I
now turn to a slightly more difficult, but very important question. What
happens when a divorced person does remarry and then that marriage ends.
Where do all the parties involved stand in the sight of God? There is the
person who divorced and remarried as well as two “spouses.” We will seek to
determine the scriptural paths each can take after the dissolution of the
second marriage.
For the sake of clarity I will give "names" to the parties involved
so that we may more easily keep track of them. I will consider the case of a
man who marries, divorces and then remarries. The man will be referred to
simply as "the husband." The first wife will be "wife #1"
and the second wife will be "wife #2."
It is totally irrelevant which, if any, of the parties involved in our
scenario were Christians at any time. The same laws apply to Christians and
non-Christians alike. The conclusions we reach here are independent of all
the other side-issues often brought up in a discussion of divorce and
remarriage. We will attempt to stick strictly to the topic at hand.
When the husband divorces wife #1, it matters not why they divorced. It is
irrelevant if it was the husband or wife who wanted the divorce or if it was
by mutual consent. It is irrelevant if the husband or wife had been
unfaithful to the other. All that matters is that they are divorced and that
they are now bound by the commands of the Apostle Paul, "let her
remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband." (I Cor. 7:11)
The same would also apply to the man.
After the divorce, the two parties have two possible courses of action which
God will accept. They may either remain single or they may get back together
with each other. Marriage of either one to a third party is not acceptable at
all as long as both are still living. It is as Paul said, "For the
woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he
liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her
husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man,
she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free
from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another
man." (Rom. 7:2-3)
As we have already established, our scenario involves a man who violates the
commandment of God and does remarry. In order to cover additional ground let
us further stipulate that wife #2 had not been married prior to her marriage
to the husband. After the husband has married wife #2 where do these two
stand? As we just read, Paul said a woman who marries again, having a living
husband, shall be called an adulteress. The Lord also said, "Whosoever
shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she
committeth adultery." (Mar 10:11- 12)
The Bible is very clear that this relationship is an adulterous one. But why
is it adulterous? Or for that matter, what exactly is adultery? We need to be
very clear on the meaning of this word before we try to determine its
application here.
Adultery is when two people, who are not married to each other, but at least
one is married to someone else, engage in sexual intercourse. Let us now
apply this definition to our situation. To state that the marriage is
adulterous is to say that the two people are committing adultery. But by its
very definition adultery takes place between two people who are not married
to each other. This means that God DOES NOT recognize this
marriage! For adultery to take place, we further have to meet the stipulation
that at least one of the persons involved is married to someone else. This
means that God DOES still recognize the original marriage of
the one who is divorced. Man may dissolve the marriage but God does not!
"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
(Mat. 19:6)
So when the husband and wife #2 separate (get a secular divorce) they are the
same in God's sight as they were before they were "married" to each
other. The husband still has the two options given him by Paul, to remain
unmarried or to be reconciled to wife #1. Wife #2 is just as free to marry as
any other woman who has never been married, since in the sight of God she
never has been.
Another point to consider is the command Paul gave in I Corinthians 7 to the
separated or divorced to remain unmarried or to be reconciled. As far as this
or any other situation, is it ever too late to do what God says? Certainly
not. Even if the husband does go and marry wife #2, he still has the option
to repent and do as God commanded him. This means that he does have the
option of getting back together with wife #1, even though he had been
remarried. This can only be the case if he was never actually married to wife
#2. Otherwise, he would still be married to her while living with wife #1,
which would be an adulterous situation, since he has another living wife,
wife #2. Clearly, for this man to be able to do what God has commanded him to
do, God must not recognize the second marriage.
God recognizes only one marriage at a time for any person. As long as both
partners are alive they are married in God's sight, regardless of what they
might do or say. It is only death which frees a man or woman from the bond of
marriage, not the decree of a secular court. Any relationship where a man or
woman marries another while having a living spouse, even though it may be
called a marriage, is really no different than two people "shacking
up." All it really amounts to is a man or woman living with another's
husband or wife. This evil situation can be discontinued and the two people
involved are no different, as far as their marital options are concerned,
than when thy first came together.
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