FORGIVENESS

Our Savior made it quite clear that the heart of a Christian is to have no limit when it comes to forgiveness. “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven” (Mat 18:21-22). He also made the importance of forgiveness quite clear. “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Mat 6:14-15).

Are Christians expected to forgive automatically, or is there something the wrong-doer must do in order to receive forgiveness? Simon was told to “Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee (Act 8:22). This establishes the principle that repentance is necessary before forgiveness by God is to be expected. Would not the same apply to men? Would we forgive a drunkard with a beer in his hand? Would we forgive a thief wearing our stolen watch? Would we forgive an adulterer if he was accompanied by his “girlfriend.” The lack of repentance in each case would make forgiveness unlikely.

The model for dealing with individual problems was given by Jesus in Matthew 18. This is before the establishment of the Church, but the principle is still solid. “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother” (Mat 18:15). Problems between brethren should remain confined to the two individuals concerned if possible. The issue needs to be discussed, apologies made, repentance made evident, and forgiveness is the end result. What does it mean “he shall hear thee?” This means he acknowledges his fault, repents, and asks for forgiveness.

However, what if the offender refuses to acknowledge his wrong or repent? “But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established” (Mat 18:16). What is the purpose of the witnesses? I believe there are three possible reasons for their presence. First, to judge the merit of the accusation. It may be that the whole situation is a misunderstanding and needs to be dropped immediately. Secondly, they could provide a little additional pressure to hopefully nudge the offender toward repentance. Finally, if the offender still refuses to repent, they can provide accurate testimony in the next phase.

“And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican” (Mat 18:17). The word translated “church” here refers to the city or community where the individuals live. In most cases, it would have been the elders of the city who would have judged the situation (Deut 21:19, 22:15, 25:7; Jos 20:4). The elders would have listened to the parties involved, as well as the testimony of the witnesses, and then made a determination as to the merit of the case. If they found the accused to indeed be in the wrong, they could put substantial pressure to try to bring him to repentance. If he still refused to repent, he would be considered as a heathen man and a publican. In other words, he would be considered as one outside of God’s people. Who would consider him like this? The person who had the original problem with him and the rest of the community, now that the matter has been made public.

How could this man ever make this wrong right and regain his place in the community? It should be obvious that the man would have to acknowledge his wrong doing; both the original sin, and his stubbornness and refusal to repent when confronted with his sin. Next he must show evidence of repentance. This principle is evidenced by what Jesus said to the Pharisees and Sadducees: “Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance” (Mat 3:8). Repentance is a change. There should be evidence of this change in the person’s behavior and or speech. Lack of this evidence, or fruit, brings the repentance into question. Are we, as mortal men, allowed to judge others this way? Jesus said we were. “Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them” (Mat 7:20). What could these fruits be? Perhaps a drunkard remaining sober, a liar telling the truth, or a thief getting a job. In many cases, however, a person can provide evidence with what they say and how they act. A humble and contrite spirit is wonderful evidence for repentance.

The next question is, to whom must the man go acknowledging his sin, asking for forgiveness, and showing evidence of repentance? This again should be common sense; all the ones he needs forgiveness from. He needs to go to the one he originally offended and ask forgiveness for the original sin and for his refusal to repent. Next, he needs to go to all who have become involved: the witnesses, the elders of the city (church), and possibly others. He needs to ask forgiveness for his behavior throughout the whole episode.

A public “I’m sorry” or “forgive me, I have sinned” is not sufficient. First of all, what is the person sorry for? What sin or sins are they acknowledging? Secondly, who are they apologizing to? Thirdly, where are the “fruits meet for repentance?”

How does all of this work in the Church? How does a Christian ask for and receive forgiveness from other Christians? Some say that John gave us some very good advice. “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us” (1Jn 1:8-10). Confessing our sins usually comes in the form of responding to the invitation at the end of a sermon. The person admits wrong and or ask for prayers, the preacher speaks to the audience on the person’s behalf, and then offers a prayer also on the person’s behalf. It may come as a surprise to some that I John 1:9 does not apply to this practice. Notice that both the verse immediately before it (8) and the verse right after it (10) both mention people who do not own up to committing sin. Verse nine is simply telling us that we must confess that we are sinners; nothing more. The only way God will even consider forgiving us of our sins is if we are willing to admit that they exist.

James does actually give us some advice about confessing our sins. “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (Jas 5:16). This shows the benefit of a humble spirit, confessing our wrongs, and asking others to pray for us. This does not specifically apply to a confession/request for prayer made at the end of a sermon but is a general guideline for Christian behavior. No verse specifically applies to the practice of confession/request for prayer as practiced today, because it is never mentioned in the scriptures. We must then reason from biblical principles what is to be made of this practice.

One immediate problem with this as a method for righting wrongs committed against others is that the confession is made to the preacher, who is usually not the one offended. This confession is relayed to the audience and we should not expect a word-for-word speech from the preacher. In the spirit of Matthew 18, the guilty party should admit their wrongs, show fruits meet for repentance, and ask forgiveness of the individual or group that had been offended. Nowhere did Jesus mention doing this publicly through a third party. Should the offended party take a public confession as a proper resolution to the situation? Absolutely not! First of all, the public confession may have nothing to do with this issue. Secondly, the issue needs to be discussed and resolved between the two parties face-to-face. In addition, this person needs to be able to demonstrate the fruits of repentance.

Christianity is a personal religion. The Church is made of individuals and it is critically important that members of the Church learn to get along with each other and settle their differences. Part of being a Christian is learning to swallow our pride and admit to having weaknesses. Admitting we have weaknesses means we will at times have to ask others for forgiveness and or help. This is not easy but is necessary. While it is hard to acknowledge sin publicly before an audience, it can actually be the easier route at times. The sinner can admit to some generic sins to one person who is not even involved. Most people in the audience may have no idea why this person came forward. Contrast this with having to look someone in the eye that you have done wrong and ask for their forgiveness.

If an individual’s sin is of a public nature and he has brought shame and reproach on the Church, then he needs to make a public confession of wrong and ask the Church for forgiveness. This must be done at the Church he has brought reproach to. The individual also needs to address the audience himself and make his request for forgiveness. If the person involved is a woman or other person not generally permitted to speak in the assembly, a written statement could be given to the preacher to be read to the audience. One point needs to be clear however, a public confession of wrong does not erase the individual problems that may exist between this person and others. There is no scriptural basis for allowing a public confession in the assembly, which never occurs in the scriptures, to overrule the principles set forth by the Lord in Matthew 18.

A Christian must be quick to forgive, but we should be even more earnest to ask for forgiveness when we have offended someone. Even if we feel we are innocent, we must maintain a humble and contrite attitude. Maintaining peace with other brethren, and within the Church as a whole, is much more important that our individual pride.